Processing writing feedback
Unless you plan to keep all of your writing hidden inside a drawer, eventually someone is going to read it. And if you plan on having that work published professionally, that work will be read by multiple people including an editor, who is going to give you feedback on said work.
I’ll never forget the first time I got real feedback on my writing (at least the first time I remember getting it). I was in third year journalism and my professor who taught feature writing assigned us to write a profile on someone of our choosing (I wrote about a transgendered politician running for mayor of Toronto). After we handed in our work, he spent the next few classes putting our stories up on a screen, and picking apart what worked and what didn’t. When he finally got to my piece, it was the equivalent of standing naked in front of the class. I felt horribly exposed. About a thousand things went through my head and none of them were, “Wow, I can’t wait to make my work better.” I didn’t know how to process what he was telling me, consider it, and then adjust my writing. All I heard was this sucks and so you do.
You might think I hated him, but I actually loved the class and him as a teacher. He taught me many core lessons, ranging from craft to prose. But I also walked away with the ability to handle feedback, which can be difficult to learn if you haven’t experienced it. This isn’t to say I haven’t been frustrated with feedback I’ve received or had a hard time accepting it. It’s that I’ve learned it’s all part of the process.
But why is feedback so hard for most of us to receive, even if we know it’s not about us. Is it that all writers/artists are self-conscious and insecure? And how can you become more flexible and receptive to feedback without retreating and debasing your work, or worse, completely abandon it for fear it means you are terrible and shouldn’t continue?
We’re hardwired to avoid things that hurt us (physical or emotional)
In a previous post I wrote about the pain of rejection and how we’re hardwired to seek connection and receive approval from our peers. Critical feedback has similar effects as we try to protect ourselves from perceived threats.
In an article in Harvard Business Review, one theory about why people have difficulty with hearing critical feedback is it’s associated with feedback received from teachers and parents at a young age. Either way, the difficult emotions appear to stem from our deep subconscious and primal instincts.
Not all feedback is created equal
Before I offer some suggestions on what to do after you get feedback on your writing project, the first very important caveat is: it matters who the feedback is coming from. Is the feedback coming from a trusted editor or a person from your writing group who doesn’t see merit in sci-fi (and that’s what you write)? I believe selecting a handful of people who can appreciate your vision and what you hope to accomplish makes a difference to the quality of the feedback you receive.
What to do when you get feedback on your work
Now you’ve found the right people to review your work and their notes are ready for your review. Your heart races, you’re certain they’ve torn it all to shreds, and you have a strong resistance to reading their comments. What do you do next?
Set aside space and time to review. Once I’m in the right headspace to know I’m going to be getting critical feedback, I give myself space and time to properly review what is being said. That way I can actually take it in and consider it, versus brushing it off as unhelpful or getting emotional about it.
Note patterns. One person might love a scene, another person might hate it (likely subjective unless they give specifics as to why), but if a few people have issues with a specific spot in your book you might want to consider making changes.
You are not your work. This is arguably the most important, but most difficult part of the process for many writers. The reason we ask for feedback in the first place is to improve our work. Unless you’re Donna Tartt, your work likely needs some polishing, so remember the feedback is about the work you produced, not you as a human.
In the end follow your vision and instincts
I saw a really funny meme that showed a picture of a pizza with candy, an entire turkey, sprinkles and cheese on top with the caption, “When you incorporate all the feedback from every critique.” In the end, your work is your unique vision, which nobody but you knows. If you don’t like what someone says — even if they’re a well-read, accomplished writer — don’t take it. There are plenty of real-world examples of people with conflicting views and the author went with their gut and ended up with a hit.
One example is Bret Easton Ellis and his 1985 debut novel Less Than Zero. In episode 11 of the podcast Once Upon a Time… At Bennington College, one of Ellis’ writer friends, David Lipsky, read his novel and told Ellis he’d be “embarrassed” if he published it. Needless to say, he published it and it became a sensation (including being turned into a movie with Robert Downey Jr.).
Writing feedback can be difficult to process, but if you take it from the perspective of, it’s for the greater good of my work, then you might find it’s easier to take.
